Why do so many men remain in situations in life that they have long felt are no longer good for them? I know this feeling very well too.
For a long time, I believed that not deciding for or against something was something neutral. Wait and see. To endure. Do nothing for the time being. I thought that would keep my options open. But whether in my job, in relationships or in dealing with myself, the longer I didn’t change anything, the clearer an uncomfortable truth later became to me.
Today I know that what you don’t change, you choose.
I accepted things instead of shaping them. I kept quiet instead of speaking clearly. I functioned instead of taking responsibility. And each time I told myself I had no choice. In truth, I gave up my choice.
Not making decisions often feels safe. It avoids conflict, shifts responsibility away and gives peace of mind in the short term. But in the long term, it costs you strength. While you wait, others decide or life decides for you. At some point, you end up sitting in an everyday life that feels strange and you wonder how you ended up here.
The turning point for me came with a simple but radical realization. Passivity is also a decision. And if I’m going to make a decision anyway, then I might as well do it consciously.
Change does not begin with perfect circumstances or external certainties. It begins with an honest yes to yourself. With the willingness to make uncomfortable decisions, even if they are scary or disappoint expectations. Not against others, but for yourself and for your inner peace.
👉 New episode of “Men in crisis”: Why not making decisions is a choice, how you can move from passivity to self-efficacy and why real freedom begins when you stop bypassing yourself.
And with Apple Podcasts: