Many men don’t show any feelings.
Not because they don’t feel anything, but because they learned early on that feelings are unsafe.
This became brutally clear to me in the podcast Men in Crisis:
Emotional closure is not a character trait. It is a protective mechanism.
When things get tight, we withdraw. We talk about facts – but not about what’s really going on inside us.
We function, we perform and we persevere. And in doing so, we lose the very thing that makes relationships come alive: emotional closeness.
Perhaps the most important sentence from the conversation:
“I thought I would become stronger if I closed myself off.
Today I know that the exact opposite is true.”
Emotional availability is not a weakness. It is maturity, it is courage. And it starts with a simple, uncomfortable question:
What don’t I want to feel right now?
Those who dare to do this not only save relationships – they often really find themselves for the first time.
Enjoy listening to the new episode:
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